Week 21: Tombstone #52Ancestors — Making Sense of it All

My great-grandparents, Michael Sarsfield McDonough and Sarah Elizabeth Getter married on August 31, 1880 at St. Leo Roman Catholic Church in Irvington, New Jersey.[1] The church had been established two years and all sacraments and services were held in a small wooden church until 1926 when a large stone church was built.[2] Michael lived in Maplewood and Elizabeth in Union but neither of those towns had a Catholic church and St. Leo’s was the closest. All of Michael and Elizabeth’s children were baptized at St. Leo’s and my grandparents were married there in 1915.

Like his father and some of his brothers, Michael was a “market gardener” meaning that he had a small farm that produced fruits, vegetables and flowers and sold directly to consumers.[3] He and Sarah had six children over the first twelve years after their marriage. I am fortunate to have known my grandmother Mae and her younger sister, Aunt “Wheat” (nickname for Marguerite).

In about 1905, something when awry between Michael and Elizabeth. According to the 1905 New Jersey state census, Elizabeth was living at the family home on Burnett Avenue in Hilton but Michael (identified as “M. Sarsfield McDonough”) lived nearby on Boyden Avenue. The 1910 U.S. census, shows Michael back home on Burnett Avenue with his wife and children, but then five years later they are again living separately. After 1916, I lose track of him completely. The available city directories list Elizabeth at Burnett Avenue from that 1908 until 1932, the year before her death, but Michael is shown only once in 1916 and not at the family home. Beginning in 1930, Elizabeth identified as a widow however Michael was very much alive. From 1929 until his death in 1943, Michael lived at the Little Sisters of the Poor Home for the Aged in Newark, New Jersey.

Founded in France, the Congregation of the Little Sisters of the Poor was officially established in 1852.[4] The nuns came to America in 1868 and by the 1950’s the Congregation had fifty-two homes for the aged across the U.S.[5] The Newark home where Michael lived was completed in 1888 and today is an apartment building for low-income seniors.[6]

I had many opportunities to talk to my aunt about my research into family history. One thing I will never forget is her telling me that she had no idea her grandfather died in 1943 (when she was seventeen). She distinctly remembered when Elizabeth died in 1933 because she was so sad not to have any living grandparents.

Which brings me to this week’s topic: tombstone. Not only was there no mention of his passing to my dad or aunt, but there is no tombstone for him either. My sister and I went to Holy Sepulchre Cemetery in Orange, NJ where many of our ancestors are buried. There is a beautiful monument on the McDonough plot complete with an Irish cross at the top. There are headstones for everyone buried there, except Michael. The kind woman in the office verified Michael was buried there and I have subsequently located the burial card showing him in the family plot.[7] Even in our massive collection of family photos there is not one of Michael but lots of Elizabeth and even Michael’s father. I can’t imagine what ignominious thing he may have done to be written out of the family history this way?

[1] "New Jersey index to records of births, marriages, and deaths, 1848-1900" "Marriages Atlantic-Warren v. 5 1880-1881," McDonough-Getter (1880); digital image FamilySearch (https://www.familysearch.org : accessed 25 July 2018), FHL microfilm 495696, image 103 of 430 .

[2] Rev. John O. Buchmann, “Diamond Jubilee of St. Leo’s Church – Irvington, 1878-1953,” 26 September 1953, 18; digital image Ancestry (http://www.ancestry.com : accessed 21 May 2020). Robert Wister, “Irvington – St. Leo,” Churches of the Archdiocese of Newark, 9 November 2011 (https://blogs.shu.edu/newarkchurches/archives/1155 : accessed 21 May 2020).

[3] Wikipedia.org, “Market garden,” rev. 13:31, 11 May 2020.

[4] “History,” Little Sisters of the Poor (http://littlesistersofthepoor.org/our-life/history/ : accessed 26 May 2020).

[5] “American foundations,” Little Sisters of the Poor (http://littlesistersofthepoor.org/american-foundations/ : accessed 26 May 2020).

[6] “New Community – Roseville,” LowIncomeHousing.us (https://www.lowincomehousing.us/det/07106_new-community-roseville : accessed 26 May 2020).

[7] Holy Sepulchre Cemetery (East Orange, New Jersey), “Cemetery records, 1859-1977,” Michael McDonough burial card, 19 Jan 1943; digital image, FamilySearch (https://www.familysearch.org/search/film/007900333?cat=230108 : viewed 24 Jan. 2018), FHL microfilm 7,900,333.

McDonough Family Home/Farm at 33 Burnett, Maplewood, NJ

McDonough Monument at Holy Sepulchre Cemetery, East Orange, NJ